We’re a little more than a year away from the 2024 presidential election, and if you think things are ugly and crazy now, just wait a few months. We’re more ideologically divided nation than even before, and it’s partly by design. Fear and hatred are the keys to winning modern elections, so count on strategists and politicians to find exciting new ways to inject rhetorical poison directly into the cultural mainline.
If you chose to bring children into this world, you have a responsibility to help them contextualize and understand the disheartening political moment we are trapped within. Critical thinking and bullshit detection are no longer luxuries; they’re life-skills, and you should help your children develop them, if only to make the future electorate less batshit crazy. Below are some tips that might help you help your child understand what’s going on and not be driven too crazy by it.
Be open to the conversation
For many, it’s easier to talk about sex with our children than it is to talk about politics. Kids can pick up on that reluctance and might not bring up their fears and concerns about current events, so you should make a conscious effort to broach the subject. Set aside some quiet time, and ask open questions like, “Who do you think should be president?” Then let them answer. Try not to steer the conversation toward your beliefs or argue. It really doesn’t matter what an 8-year-old thinks about politics—the point is for them to reflect and understand the world better.
Keep things age-appropriate
Children at different ages understand the world in different ways. Younger children see the world in simplistic, absolute terms. They believe in rules, expectations, and are innocent enough to ask for justice instead of mercy. So you can explain an election by saying something like, “The person with the most votes wins, and that’s fair,” a reasonable explanation for a six year-old.
Older kids can (sometimes) grasp the nuances and contradictions in human endeavor. They can understand that compromise is necessary in public policy, and that no outcomes are going to be perfect. So you can explain an election by saying, “The person with the most electoral votes wins, and that’s not fair, but what are ya gonna do?” A reasonable explanation for a sixteen year-old.
Be positive and reassuring
You might be freaking out about politics, but there’s nothing to be gained by scaring the children, so try to be comforting and positive, even if you’re not feeling that way. I’m not suggesting you lie, but both parenting and politics require message discipline. The goal is to raise a child who feels comfortable in the world, and filling them with your fears does not achieve that. So massage the truth a little. If your child says, “I’m worried that Trump will be re-elected,” don’t respond with, “Right? We’re all going to die!” Instead, say, “I’m a little worried too, but it’s only for four years.”
Take a long view
When trying to contextualize current events for your child, it’s easy to fall into apocalyptic thinking—these are weird, ugly times after all—but remember that there have been weirder, uglier times. Like The Civil War. Or the Reconstruction. Or the period after The Reconstruction. Or the Great Depression. Or World War II, and on, and on. Our nation has been poised on the brink of collapse regularly, but it never quite topples over. And if the Jenga tower of American democracy really is about to hit the floor, your 9–year-old can’t do anything about it, so try to tie current events to historical events they’re learning about in History class. There’s something reassuring about the constancy of chaos in public life.
Separate the signal from the noise
It’s easy to get stuck in the daily outrage of political coverage, but almost all of the culture-war rhetoric we engage with is less meaningful than laws that are passed nationally and locally. So steer conversations with kids toward public policy instead of politics. Discuss the broad strokes: Why we have the laws we have. Who made them. Who enforces them. Explain what voting is and how the government is structured and works. (You might need to do some research for this.)
Don’t demonize people you disagree with
It’s good to let your children know how you feel about politics (in an age-appropriate way of course), but try to avoid demonizing people who disagree with you, especially if they’re relatives. How two decent people can have opposing views about politics can be baffling to children (and adults), but don’t explain it away by saying, “They’re just stupid.” (Even if they’re stupid.) Try something like “We don’t agree about everything” instead. Your brother-in-law who’s flying a Trump 2024 flag will still be at Thanksgiving, so try to model polite interaction despite ideological differences.
Teach your children to think about media critically
If a political ad pops up on YouTube or TV, don’t immediately turn it off. Use it as a lesson on media literacy, and talk about the messages you’re receiving. Try to get them to think critically about what is behind it. Discuss who made it and why. Discuss the tactics used—is it trying to scare people? Inform them? Persuade them? Are the claims it makes true? The idea is to actively question propaganda, no matter its source, and create a person who doesn’t let media wash over them.
Let your children see you engage in politics
If you want your child to grow up to be a good citizen, you have to model good citizen behavior. So engage in politics in a meaningful, positive way. If you really hate a guy running for mayor, volunteer to phone bank for the opposition instead of complaining. Put a sign on your lawn. Have family political discussions regularly. Discuss how your own value system lines up with your political views. Discuss how you came to hold the views you have and where your values come from.
